Mine's a Beer...Or It Used To Be

Flicking through the pages of the Saturday papers this week, I was surprised to come across a story buried away on page 19. It was a very small article, almost inconsequential within the context of the whole paper, but it was an incredibly sad piece, not only for the ‘victim’s family but for society as a whole.

The story was about the death of a guy on his stag night in Benidorm in 2010. Paul Tobutt died after ‘necking’ a litre of spirits in around 20 seconds. He had it ‘poured down his throat’ by a barman in a “dentist’s chair” stunt. 

(You may remember Paul Gascoigne making headlines doing something similar in Bangkok in 1996). 

His ‘Pals’ carried Paul to his hotel room but found him dead the next morning. The inquest which has just announced its findings confirmed that alcohol killed him.

Why did this story attract my attention you may ask, he was just another young binge drinking lout giving it large ? Well actually he wasn’t, and that’s what made me notice it, he was actually almost 40 and was a Trading Standards Officer from Weymouth in Dorset. Not exactly you’re typical stereotype.

So what brings a guy (or a girl these days) to think they can still drink like they did in their twenties when they’re nearly forty ? Well the answer is, because they think they can and more so.

Decisions Decisions

The story I read of Paul’s death brought home to me that a decision I made two years ago was the right one. In August 2011, at the age of 43, I took a momentous decision that after over 25 years drinking I would become ‘tee-total’. This wasn’t a decision I took lightly, but if I hadn’t, who’s to say I wouldn’t end up like Paul did.

History

Let me take you back 25 years. In 1986 I started an engineering apprenticeship, the design office I worked in had its daily traditions which were common throughout the construction industry. These included going to the pub at lunch, two pints each day, three on a Friday. I ultimately kept this going ‘till around 1999 when it started to become frowned up on in the industry. After that my lunchtime pub visits became only a couple of days a week.

Lock-Ins

While all this was going on, I was also going out almost every night of the week with ‘lock-ins’ in the local till 3am on Friday and Saturday nights, sometimes on a Tuesday too after quiz night for which I was the host. On nights I didn’t go out, I usually had a bottle of wine at home.

Changes

Marriage and kids then came along, though we still went out, I continued to drink more at home averaging a bottle of wine a day. Divorce came around ten years ago along with a change in job. The drinking at home continued but moved on to both wine and sometimes gin, not good !! The job involved travelling all over the country staying in hotels (more drinking), it also involved a considerable number of big drinking business and social events.

100 Units a week

I was averaging over 100 Units a week, but this wasn’t really a concern as I’d averaged probably more than this over the length of my ‘drinking career’. The other big thing that drove me on was I never really suffered from hangovers. Sure, when I was in my late teens/early twenties I suffered some absolute momentous ones but since then, as my drinking got more and more, my body got used to it and coped quite admirably.

The New Dawn

What made me give up ? Well the decision wasn’t sudden, it was a gradual dawning that if I didn’t, the consequences might not be pleasant.

There was a series of ‘events’ that lead up to my decision, they included :

• My boss at work changed to a new director who I got on really well with (and still do). Three or four months after he joined it was our Christmas do. He wanted to come across as being a sociable boss and asked the team who he needed to ‘keep-up with’ to make sure he was still there at the end of the night – there answer was me !
• On said Christmas do, which was in Leeds, I was first to start the drinking at 11.20am in the hotel, finally finishing as last man standing at 2.30am next morning, a 15 hour session. I was then up at 7am and in Warrington having breakfast in my local café by 10am. No hangover or ill effects.
• A team night out in Manchester which started at around 3pm and finished around 3am in a late bar with me having a drinking competition against a student 20yrs my junior drinking JD & Cokes, needless to say I beat him and suffered no ill effects the next morning.
• A temp I was working with was also in a band and he actually wrote a song called “Mark’s Bad Week” about a particularly heavy week of shall we say socialising I’d had, when we calculated I’d consumed around 225 Units. He later performed the song at an ‘open mike’ night in a music club.

These things started to gel in my head that maybe I was drinking too much, maybe I should cut down, I quickly realised that if I cut down it wouldn’t take long for me to get back where I was so I took the momentous decision to give up all together.

Not an Alcoholic

I never once considered myself to be an alcoholic, I still don’t, but the point of all this blog is that you get to an age where drinking is natural its part of your day-to-day life instead of an occasional pleasure or for weekend relaxation with friends. It was only after I stopped I realised just how much I’d needed it to simply help me sleep.

I never drank to forget , or to mask things out, or because I was depressed or worried or anxious, I drank because I liked it. Because I knew I wouldn’t get a hangover, it encouraged me more.

Which brings me back to Paul in the dentist’s chair, did he think ‘he could take it’ ? I suspect so. He couldn’t - and I’m glad I never got to that stage - but it wasn’t far away.

The Future ?

I’ve not drank for nearly two years now, but I’ve never said I wouldn’t ever again. At the moment I’ve no compulsion to start again and as long as I feel that way, I won’t. 

The Message

Firstly it’s not just about men, women are succumbing too.

Some simple stats published last year:

·     For women in high-flying roles such as chief executives, doctors and lawyers, the number of deaths caused by drinking has risen by 23 per cent.

·         At lower management level, those losing their lives to liver disease and other conditions caused by alcohol rose from 247 to 290 – a 17 per cent hike.

·         These numbers of alcohol-related death among career women has soared over the past decade and is now rising faster than among men.

·      Among men, the number of deaths in both categories were higher but rose less sharply – the toll for 2011 was 15 per cent higher than in 2001.

My message is quite simple, if you’re in your forties or fifties and drinking was always part of your life, have a look just how much you’re actually drinking, a few pints at lunch, a large whiskey or a gin when you get home, bottle of wine at night, it all adds up. Whilst you may not suffer hangovers, the day may come where you might not actually wake up.