Friday 31 July 2015

Poetry and the Soul of Politics (Alternative Title: – David Cameron – TWAT)

People who know me may be surprised to know that I love poetry. There you go I’ve said it now ! I have a particular liking for real life gritty poetry, poetry that I can identify with; poetry that has a sense of humour or irony. I can just about recite one or two of my favourite poems. I can quote chunks of others. Not for me Wordsworth and the like, for me it’s more WB Yeats or John Cooper Clarke.

Still very very relevant to today’s world, some of Yeats’ sound bites are bang on the truth :

“People who lean on logic and philosophy and rational exposition end by starving the best part of the mind”

“Life is a long preparation for something that never happens.” 

“Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people.”

And one of my all time favourites, which applies to many of our political commentators today :- “All empty souls tend towards extreme opinions”

The use of poetry can be quite powerful. I often use a poetic quotation in a presentation or document to support a point. I think I have sufficient knowledge of poetry to enable me to find appropriate quotes.

I don’t agree that poetry should be forced down kid’s necks at school as part of the National Curriculum that would just be counterproductive and put kids off poetry for life. Let them discover it for themselves, poems discovered and learned in context can be a lifelong pleasure.


Politicians do they have poetry in their soul?
Just before he was gunned down, John F Kennedy gave a remarkable speech in memory of the poet Robert Frost who had died earlier that year. It included the following amazing lines:

“When power leads men towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man’s concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses. For art establishes the basic human truth which must serve as the touchstone of our judgment.”

Just how close to the truth is that? It shows poetry has an intrinsic connection to politics. Both seek the truth in a given situation; both must be honest to be effective; both engage the mind and emotions in equal parts; both can lift the spirits and inspire you to look at the stars instead of the gutter; both can wind you up; both can send you down.

A few years ago, Gordon Brown came up with ‘Invictus’ by WE Henley as his favourite poem. Invictus is all about the poet’s belief that he is the ‘I am the master of my soul/I am the captain of my fate’. It’s one of those poems, like ‘If’ by Kipling (said to be Mrs Thatcher’s favourite poem) or ‘The Lays of Ancient Rome by Macaulay’ (which Winston Churchill knew off by heart) which sound stirring, but don’t bear much close examination. Another one is GK Chesterton’s ‘The Secret People’ which Martin Bell quoted on his election as an independent in 1997:

“Smile at us, pay us, pass us; but do not quite forget/For we are the people of England, that never have spoken yet.”

David Cameron takes the easy way out with his favourite poem, he chooses ‘Dulce et Decorum Est’ by Wilfred Owen, the famous war poem which most of us learned at school. For me however, I will always associate David Cameron with this John Cooper Clarke poem :

TWAT

Like a Night Club in the morning, you're the bitter end
Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you're clean round the bend.
You give me the horrors
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow's
are lousy coz of you.

You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain

You're certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here... wear this polythene bag.

You're like a dose of scabies,
I’ve got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale... Grimm!

People mention murder, the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you if I thought you were alive.
You've got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.

Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.
Like a death in a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat our Smartie,
you're no use to anyone.
like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive's face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race

You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide...
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.

You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart.
You’re heading for a breakdown,
better pull yourself apart.

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.
Your attitudes are platitudes,
just make me wanna piss.

What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can...

TWAT




Saturday 16 May 2015

40 Years of #Labour Leaders – and only 1 can win a General Election

After Ed Miliband’s and Labour's shocking performance in the recent General Election, the Labour Party find themselves in the position of finding another leader. Will the next one click with the general public and actually be electable? History suggests - probably not !

In the last 40 years, only one Labour Leader has actually managed to win a General Election, that was Tony Bliar, and of course if we knew then what we know about him now he might not have been elected either.

But there’s been three Labour Prime Minister’s in that time you might say. Maybe so, but two of them ‘inherited’ the leadership from their predecessors and when it came to fighting an election – they lost ! The Tories meanwhile have also had three Prime Ministers in that time, the difference being that they all won their elections outright.

So who lost them for Labour? Is there a common theme?

Jim Callaghan
Prior to Blair, the last Labour Leader to win a General Election was Harold Wilson way back in 1974. Like Blair, he knew when to jump ship and in 1976 handed the Prime Ministerial reins to Jim Callaghan.

Callaghan’s name will be forever associated with the grim days of the late 1970s, when Britain was paralysed by industrial chaos, strikes and the “winter of discontent”. Jim Callaghan was the unlucky Labour prime minister who presided over unprecedented national decline as our country became “the sick man of Europe”. Even Callaghan himself once admitted that he would not be “the slightest bit surprised” if people “come to the conclusion that I was the worst prime minister since Sir Robert Walpole”.

I would however argue that, for all the miseries of the Winter of Discontent, Jim caused far less long-term damage to Britain than his two Labour successors, Blair and Brown. In the notorious words of one of his advisers, Blair was desperate to “rub the Right’s nose in diversity.” Our border controls were abolished, visas were dished out like confetti, and the enforcement of the dogma of multiculturalism became the central ethos of the UK. All this would have been unthinkable to Callaghan. In fact, as home secretary in 1968 he pushed through legislation that restricted the right of Asians from East Africa to settle in Britain, even if they had British passports. Justifying his tough stance, Callaghan warned that “immigration and settlement largely by coloured persons into a relatively small number of concentrated areas” would “aggravate” social problems.

Being a child at the time, I do actually remember him. To me he spoke like a patronising, fussy Headmaster who really got under your skin! He was soundly beat in the 1979 election by Mrs Thatcher. I don’t think he was the worse PM we ever had, he just allowed the unions to rule the roost whilst failing to modernise the country. So it was actually his record in office that ultimately made him unelectable.

Michael Foot
Callaghan was followed by his deputy, Michael Foot. A complete odd-ball whose scruffy donkey jacket wearing image was enough to put people off before they’d even heard his policies. A more un-statesman like potential Prime Minister we had never seen before. Adding to this image was an extreme Left wing attitude which divided his own party - so much so than some more liberal members broke awake forming the Social Democratic Party.

One of his most notable policies in the 1983 manifesto was a call for Britain to take unilateral action to scrap its nuclear weapons, this was when the USSR was particularly strong and the Cold War at it’s peak.

Interestingly, his 1983 Labour manifesto called for a withdrawal from the European Economic Community (what is now the EU). Specifically it said: "On taking office we will open preliminary negotiations with the other EEC member states to establish a timetable for withdrawal.” So maybe he wasn’t all that bad.

Foot’s overall image and the ambitious Marxist scale of the manifesto backfired though, with the far left nature of many of the policies - combined with Margaret Thatcher’s popularity in the wake of the 1982 Falklands War - contributing to a Tory landslide in 1983's election.

Neil Kinnock
Next up was Welshman, Kinnock. Kinnock and his deputy, Roy Hattersley inherited a divided party split between the centre and far left. There was also extremists like the Militant Tendency.

As Labour leader, Kinnock’s main achievement was to halt the leftward drift of the party, driving out the Trotskyites of the Militant Tendency. His humiliation of them at the 1985 party conference was one of the great moments of political theatre.

Kinnock's image, like Foot before him suffered from a lack of a credibility. He is the only Welsh leader in Labour’s history and although his working- class Valleys credentials helped him to Westminster, in the eyes of the London media they were a liability.

He was dubbed the “Welsh windbag” by the media and was never taken to the hearts of Middle England where the marginal seats that Labour needed in order to take power were concentrated. His image of incompetence on satirical TV programme, Spitting Image also re-enforced his unelectability.

In 1992 however his premature triumphalism at a rally in Sheffield was seen as costing Labour another election, one it had been widely expected to win. The Sun amplifying his ‘useless’ tag on election day with the headline "If Kinnock wins today will the last person to leave Britain please turn out the lights." He didn’t and It spelt the end of his career in front line British politics. Kinnock may not have won an election, but he turned the Labour party round and without him Tony Blair wouldn't have won.

Kinnock was followed as Labour Leader by John Smith, who sadly died in office. The only election winner in 40 years, Tony Blair followed with his “New Labour” brand winning three elections on the bounce before handing what had become a poison chalice over to Gordon Brown

Gordon Brown
Firstly, let me say Gordon Brown didn’t lose the 2010 General Election, he just didn’t win it – but neither did any single party!

Brown is one of the great tragic figures of contemporary British politics. He yearned and schemed for the ultimate prize for so long, that when he finally secured it he had no idea what to do with it. And that tragedy is compounded by the fact that though there is a suitably proud political epitaph that could be written for him, he refuses to allow anyone to write it.

Brown, even more than Blair, was the true architect of New Labour. It was Brown who recognised, long before any of his contemporaries, just how much Labour would have to change in order to survive. It was Brown, not Blair, who built the machine to force through that change. It was Brown, not Blair, who imposed iron fiscal discipline. It was Brown, not Blair, who wooed business, and sacrificed the sacred Labour cows of tax and spend.

But history is written by the victors. So after New Labour had become toxic, and Brown had successfully moved against his bitter rival, he ensured his role within the grand modernising project was expunged from the record books.

Gordon Brown eventually lost due to his last two years record in office. The country (indeed the World) was in a period of severe recession and he was seen by the country as a major contributor to us being there. He was also tarred with some of Blair’s failures such as the immigration shambles and an illegal war in Iraq – so he had to go. And along came Ed!

Ed Miliband
I’m not going to say much about Ed that the result of last week’s General Election didn’t say. Suffice to say image and policies came to the fore again. Similar to Foot and Kinnock he didn’t ‘look like a Prime Minister’ and his economic policies appeared to be being made up on the spot. He was also extremely scathing of private sector business showing utter contempt for it, considering the proportion of voters that worked there - that was a seriously bad move.

Dig deeper into the polls over the last twelve months and the unelectability of Ed is there for all to see. In the polls that asked who people saw as a good leader, Ed failed everytime. Similarly in those that asked who voters trusted with the economy, Labour consistently failed. The fact that his proposed Chancellor of the Exchequer, Ed Balls lost his seat says all you need to know about how much voters trusted Labour’s economic policies.

So Who Next?

Well so far the following have declared they are running:

Liz Kendall
Liz is the standard bearer of the right. She is said to be picking up support from some, but not all Blairites, as well as a number of the new intake, who appear universally to desire a candidate untarnished by the Blair / Brown era. Going off her performance on Newsnight last week I’d say she’s not got a cat in Hell’s chance of leading Labour.

Yvette Cooper
Mrs Balls was educated at Comprehensive School then Oxford University. She has managed two years working outside of politics as Chief economic correspondent of The Independent.

Yvette is a relic of the Blair-Brown era and comes with plenty of baggage from 2010 and before, as a former Chief Secretary to the Treasury and Secretary for Work and Pensions. She's begun the race badly, forced on to the back foot after repeating Ed Miliband’s toxic claim that Labour had not overspent whilst in government.

The fact Yvette chose to marry the odious Ed Balls bring questions over her judgement and possibly her sanity.

Andy Burnham
Mr Burnham was educated at a Comprehensive School then at Cambridge University. He has never had a job outside of politics being a researcher to Tessa Jowell from 1994 until after the 1997 General Election. In 1998 he became a special advisor to the Secretary of State for Culture Media and Sport, Chris Smith, where he remained until his election to parliament.

Burnham carries a considerable amount of baggage from his time as Health Secretary, not least, the Stafford Hospital scandal, the new GP Contacts and starting the privatisation process of the NHS putting the likes of Hinchingbrook Hospital out to tender to be run by the private sector. Since then Andy has publically moved from being a Blairite to the left of the party.

The brothers and sisters of the trade unions are backing Mr Burnham, and will be hoping he performs better than in 2010, when he staggered home in a lacklustre fourth place having irritated his supporters by barely bothering to campaign. To some on the Blairite wing of the party, the shadow health secretary’s journey towards the left of the spectrum has a whiff of opportunism, whilst the Left is also suspicious of him.

Mary Creagh
The outsider in the race, Mary was educated at a Comprehensive School then at Oxford University. She spent 4 years working in Brussels first at the European Parliament, and then the European Youth Forum. She then worked at the London Enterprise Agency, a London-wide regeneration body so she has good a good level of ‘real world’ and business experience.

In general Mary Creah has kept her nose clean, has very little baggage, she has also done a proper job outside of politics and is probably closer to the voters than any of her competitors. Ironic then that she’s the outsider.

Tristram Hunt
Not thrown his hat in the ring yet but I’m sorry, Labour cannot have a leader called “Tristram” – end of!

So Have Any Of Them Got A Chance Of Being The Next PM?
The consistent factors of failure of Labour leaders has been image - they didn't look or behave like a Prime Minister and credibility - their policies were too narrow, not thought out, or weren't what voters wanted from a Labour Government. 

So going off lessons learned from the last 40 years, the only thing that seems to get a Labour leader elected is the likeable, smooth talking, stage managed smarm charm that Tony Blair had. On that basis, if he pulls his finger out and manages the unions properly then Burnham has the best chance.

Are Labour really ready for a female leader? Its members talk the talk but I’m not sure they would walk the walk. Mary Creagh and Liz Kendall have the least baggage and are far more likeable than Mrs Balls but they’re not as high profile and won’t get through the first round.

For me, Labour’s best candidate, Chuka Umunna ticked the most boxes to be a successful leader however he bottled it and withdrew. So unless Burnham turns into Blair2 then I'm afraid we probably won’t see another Labour Prime Minister until at least 2025.


Friday 17 April 2015

I Used To Love BBC Question Time – But Not Anymore

Anyone who has followed me on Twitter for some time will have noticed that I've stopped watching BBC Question Time on a Thursday night; my tweets throughout the programme are now virtually nil. I’m sure some people miss my irreverent comments – but I don’t!

I've watched the programme since the 80s when Sir Robin Day was the host and must admit its decline has been very gradual but mirrors the changes in the political world from ‘real’ politicians who actually had their own opinions to today’s career politicians who constantly trot out the party line and nothing else. It was always a good, fairly honest political debate. Nowadays if you think Question Time is excellent then I’d say you've got pretty low standards.

I stopped watching Question Time a while ago when I realised one depressing night that I was only really watching it for entertainment and tweeting purposes having once believed that I was watching a bit of political debate and maybe actually being informed. To be fair, I did always look on Question Time as a bit of a luvvie-lefty kangaroo court where anyone who doesn't go along with the twee view of the world the BBC embraces is set up to be booed and jeered, and generally presented as ‘Beyond The Pale’ before being summarily dismissed.

When Did It Start Going Wrong?
For me there are a number of things that has lead to its decline, Dimbleby being one, five panel members instead of four, comedians and journo’s on the panel, that audience, I could go on – and will.

The problem with Dimbleby is his hijacking the format to put endless sub-questions of his own which he thinks are smarter than the ones asked by the audience. He hasn’t got it into his head that it’s about the audience’s questions and the panel’s answers – not his.

I always used to find myself shouting at the telly when I watched Question Time, more often than not at the audience than the panel. There is no way on earth the audience is representative of people in the UK, nobody I talk to about politics has the same views as these people. It makes Question Time unwatchable because rational arguments by the panel are drowned out by indignant, reason-free protests on behalf of this or that disadvantaged group.

The quality of politicians has gone down too. During the Robin Day years senior politicians and cabinet members often appeared on the panel. Party leaders, Home Secretary, Chancellor, they all appeared regularly, not anymore though. Labour still put up the odd senior politician like Mr and Mrs Balls or the odious Harriet Harmen but the most senior Tory you see is Grant Shapps who’s only the party chairman. So you end up listening to junior ministers who just trot out the party line and seem incapable of holding an opinion of their own.

Another thing I've noticed is the number of questions taken from the audience which now appear to be ridiculously low, it’s not unusual for only 3 or 4 questions to be answered – it used to be a lot more and made for better viewing.

I think the biggest indictment of today’s Question Time is that you can get far more insightful political commentary from watching Have I Got News For You, despite there being near total overlap in the guests on each show.

That Audience
Today’s Question Time audience is mostly quite mad, a law unto itself! I'm pretty sure that if the Question Time audience was representative of the UK electorate then Neil Kinnock would currently be serving his sixth term as Prime Minister! The modern day audience seems to be entirely composed of weirdos and party activists posing as disinterested voters.

I applied a few years ago when the programme was coming from Warrington and didn't get a look in. I often wonder what qualifications are required to be in the audience of Question Time. Apart from having undergone a full frontal lobotomy, eating your chips out of The Daily Worker or have completed twenty uninterrupted years on benefits.

One thing is certain: if you find yourself disagreeing with the yelping, hooting, maniacally applauding audience, you are probably an astute intellectual who long ago left behind the unrealistic, mushy, pious world of sixth form enthusiasm.

Panel
A good honest debating chamber is how Question Time has been billed. In fact it’s an unseemly gold-rush for applause. The panellists these days are a set of needy egos with semi-fictionalised hairdos. You get political activist in the audience asking leary questions to clueless panellists who then use the old staple of having a go at bankers to rousing applause as they have nothing better to say.

Unfortunately Question Time is based too much on politicians who toe the party line and usually contribute little in terms of information value or novel perspective to the debate. The same can be said for newspaper editors and journalists who also toe the party line determined by their owners. Scientists and representatives of charities often enrich the debate by their ability to be honest.

And as for those politicians, most are lightweight and carry no weight in Parliament, they never answer the question that’s being asked, choosing instead to answer the question that they wanted to be asked. Most are proven liars who cannot speak directly or honestly with integrity, so it stands to reason that most of them shouldn't be given such a prominent position on our national broadcasters flagship debating show.

Question Time is, in short, a pretty miserable failure when it comes to informed debate. The bulk of panellists are drawn from the same upper-middle-class, upper-middle-aged pot of journalists, lawyers and politicians, and are often profoundly ignorant on topics outside of that narrow culture. Science, sex, the internet … attempts to tackle anything outside their world result in bewildering exchanges that confuse more often than they inform. 

Back To Basics
Question-Time probably still has much to offer in its current format, but only if you are not expecting politicians to be held to account. None will hold their hands up, most know little about the public's feeling and few will have a sleepless night after their stint on the panel. The added-value guests, even if you think it dumbs down the content are the meat and potatoes of the show, chunkier even than the audience who seem to have something slipped in their pre-recording drinks. It may not be your idea of democracy in action, but at least having over-privileged, over-exposed rent-a-gobs on the show leads to some squirming on the seats of the political panellists, and that alone can be worth the price of admission.

There is, I think, a simple test for evaluating any platform for debate: has anyone ever changed their mind on a serious issue? The purpose of a genuine discussion ought to be to utilise facts and evidence to reach some mutually agreed upon rational conclusion, and though it may take months rather than hours, this should involve people altering their opinions. Question Time, on the contrary, is a megaphone for publicising party political views and uninformed ideology. It has the potential to achieve a lot more, but it consistently aims low.

So when was Question Time an honest debating chamber? I think you have to go back to Robin Day's time, don't you? And that’s where it needs to go back to now. Take it back to four panellists, stop vetting the audience, get audience members to ask more questions, insist that if political parties want to be represented they need to put up senior politicians who have some gravitas. Sack David Dimbleby - After sixteen years chairing the panel Dimbleby has become past his prime in both the political and fashion stakes (have you seen those ties?)

Why not have people on the panel who actually know about things? With the current range of guests it doesn't make any sense, it's pointless watching really. You can read who's on the panel and pretty much predict what they will all say. I never learn anything interesting or worthwhile anymore.
A couple of minor things too, Dimbleby’s chair - there seems no need for it to be larger than the other chairs position close to the panel desk? Lastly the constant reiteration of the twitter address - we know the show is on twitter, it stains the shows delicate fabric when it’s constantly uttered every week.

So there we have it, refresh the show and maybe just maybe the telly audience may start to grow.

Wednesday 1 April 2015

100 Random Things That Just Annoy Me

  1. People who wait to turn on their indicators until they are actually turning their steering wheels. I can tell you're going round the bend now, mate - thanks for nothing!
  2. The position of CAPS lock on your keyboard, it should be out of the way of your fingers, better still lose it altogether!
  3. The BBC - who take no notice of their viewers and listeners.
  4. Slow drivers doing 40 in a 60 zone who suddenly find the accelerator pedal when you are overtaking (twats! They should be banned for dangerous driving).
  5. People shopping with their children who have assumed that having children give them special privileges, like no manners and right of way.
  6. People whose voice rises in pitch at the end of every sentence? Making everything they say sound like a question?
  7. The British legal system - Police having to catch the same scumbags twice, once for the crime and again when they let them go and they fail to appear in court or skip bail (now there’s a surprise - who would have thought they were not to be trusted?)
  8. Jamie Oliver.
  9. Americans that think all British people are just people that eat biscuits/drink tea and constantly talk like Mary Poppins which as you know we don’t, at least we can say police without saying po - lice as if they have some sort of speech impediment.
  10. 12 a.m. and 12 p.m.
  11. The arrogance of the cycling Spandex Set.
  12. Book borrowers who will not return your book, even when asked.
  13. Muzak - particularly in restaurants.
  14. Shops that say "We don't get much call for that. . ."
  15. Litter - ie cans, bottles, chewing gum, fast food cartons, dog ends and cig packets.
  16. People who urinate in car parks and subways .
  17. Knobs who shout down their mobile.
  18. Not using bus lanes out of hours.
  19. All road humps, bumps, chicanes
  20. Lefties
  21. Noticing someone not washing their hands as they exit the toilets after they have obviously just taken a dump – dirty gits!
  22. Dogs that won't stop yapping.
  23. People that talk too much, especially when what they have to say is nonsensical and pointless.
  24.  People who refuse to learn how anything technological works.
  25.  Junk mail, both physical and electronic.
  26. Chavs – nuff said
  27. People who talk on their mobiles while paying for something
  28. People who ring you up and then start eating while talking to you
  29. Snobs
  30. Political correctness
  31. The EU
  32. Old people who think they are better than everyone and therefore have priority over everything.
  33. People at Starbucks who order the most complicated drink you’ve ever heard when all you want is a plain filter coffee.
  34. Finding dog shit in my garden – I haven’t got a dog
  35. People that listen to their music really loud when wearing headphones
  36. Stupid people, especially the ones who are so stupid, they don't even know they're stupid
  37. People who say "like" many times in each sentence as if they’re a young American girl.
  38. People who pronounce the letter "h" as haitch
  39. “H” from Steps
  40. Obese people who use disability scooters because they've eaten too much and won't carry their own body weight on perfectly usable legs.
  41. People who are over 18 and use text speak
  42. Drivers who can’t be arsed indicating.
  43. Career politicians
  44. Chavs who wear their pants tucked in their socks and walk round with their hands down the front cupping their balls.
  45. Foreign call centres and their rude, nosy staff
  46. Automated phone systems 
  47. Fat women dressing like they are a size 8 and letting it all hang out – yuk
  48. People who drive round the outside of roundabouts so you think they are coming out at your exit - but then shoot across your front bumper.
  49. Roadwork’s that cone off miles of road with no sign of any work occurring
  50. Cyclists. They seem to be above the law. They ride up one way streets the wrong way, on pavements, without lights at night. They also wear silly clothing and daft hats
  51. People who answer a mobile phonel when they are in the middle of a conversation with you!
  52. Bubble wrapped goods that are almost impossible to open and wasteful of resources.
  53. Sticky price labels on DIY items which can only be removed with special solvents and 10 minutes of scrubbing.
  54. Arrogant able bodied idiots who use disabled parking spaces
  55. Ed Balls
  56. Use of the word 'need' instead of 'must' or 'should'.
  57. Overpaid public sector employees
  58. Ambulance chasers – we don’t all want to make a claim mate !
  59. People who ram pasties and pies into their fat mouths whilst walking in shopping malls.
  60. Fat people and anyone over 25 in replica soccer kits.
  61. White people who talk as if they are Jamaican
  62. People who come up and press the button on the pedestrian crossing when it is quite obvious you have been standing there for ages, and you have already pressed the button. The light is already on, it doesn't make the lights change any quicker
  63. People (mostly ladies I'm afraid) who block the aisles of supermarkets chatting
  64. Premiership footballers wages and some of the truly stupid footballers like Balotelli.
  65. Cyclists riding on the pavement.
  66. Shop assistants who talk to their colleagues whilst serving you
  67. Online pictures of cats
  68. Cash machine slowcoaches, what are they keying in? Their life story? And why do they stare at the cash that's come out for at least a minute before taking it?
  69. Inconsiderate parkers who take up two parking spaces.
  70. When people chuck their rubbish out of the car window.
  71. When people start boarding the train before everyone has gotten off.
  72. Motorcyclists weaving in and out of the traffic.
  73. PPI calls.
  74. Noisy eaters.
  75. People walking along the street with their faces glued to a smart phone screen then looking incredulously at you when they crash into you.
  76. Mothers pushing their huge prams with a tiny kid inside along the middle of the pavement and not moving out of the way when you try to get past.
  77. Traffic lights on roundabouts. Ridiculous, we've driven the roads for years and years without them, they hold you up again and again, your light goes green, you get 20yds another red light, it goes green and another 20yds another red light. The intention of a roundabout is to keep the flow of traffic going, traffic lights don’t.
  78. Fat people about three of them, taking up the whole pavement walking very slow
  79. Mothers that let their little shits run around supermarkets causing havoc
  80. In a restaurant after your first mouthful, then you hear “is everything alright with your meal?”
  81. Jehovah's Witnesses
  82. Tony Bliar
  83. People who complain how fat they are when they're so obviously skinny.
  84. Singers who mime because they can’t actually sing, eg Cheryl Cole.
  85. People that don’t laugh and only say “LOL”.
  86. Having to pay to use public lavatories.
  87. Indecisive people at Starbucks.
  88. When the driver in front of you continuously brakes for absolutely no reason.
  89. Showing up to an appointment early or on time only to be kept waiting for over 30 minutes
  90. Consultants
  91. People who don't accelerate on the motorway on-slip road.
  92. When mothers with pushchairs take up the whole pavement then act annoyed when other people need to get through.
  93. When people leave their shopping trolleys in the middle of parking spaces.
  94. When you purposely hold the door for someone and they don’t acknowledge it.
  95. When cyclists don’t stop for red lights or obey signs on the road.
  96. When people get off of an escalator and just stop.
  97. When I'm in the six person deep checkout line at the supermarket, and the last person in line quickly jumps over into the just opened till before everyone else who has been waiting longer. This person is an arsehole. Don't be this arsehole.
  98. When there is a lane closure up ahead, and instead of merging with ample warning, the people who speeds up to where the lane is closing and then expects to be let in ahead of everyone else. I hate these knobs with a burning passion and I never let them in.
  99. Celebrity fitness DVDs
  100. Endless furniture sale ads


Thursday 26 March 2015

How Can The GermanWings Crash Happen in 2015?

Following today’s revelations, it appears that all those speculative stories regarding the cause of the German Wings Airbus that crashed in The Alps on Tuesday have turned out to be nonsense.

Now the black box flight recorder has been investigated the authorities have quickly come to the conclusion that the co-pilot, named as Andreas Lubitz, appeared to want to "destroy the plane". Marseille prosecutor Brice Robin, in a press conference, citing information from the "black box" voice recorder, said the co-pilot was alone in the cockpit. He intentionally started a descent while the pilot was locked out of the cockpit.

Meanwhile, the head of Lufthansa, (they own Germanwings), said the co-pilot had undergone intensive training and "was 100% fit to fly without any caveats". He said "We have no findings at all about what motivated the pilot to do this terrible deed." Terrorism seems to be being discounted at the moment, which appears a bit premature and is something I’m not sure about.

The crash was a terrible enough event before this information was released. Today’s findings make it even worse constituting the mass-murder of innocent people. So many lives wrecked needlessly.

Horrific
When you board a plane, you put your life and trust into the pilots and the crew. This is one of the worst breaches of trust ever. It's really frightening to think once you are up in the air the life of you and the other passengers rely purely on the pilots. When this sort of thing happens, it's very scary to think how even pilots can just switch like that.

What on earth happened to this young co-pilot to make him do this? It’s horrific to think anyone would even contemplate something like this. I suppose it just goes to show that it’s impossible to allow for every eventuality.

I feel terrible for the main pilot who so desperately tried to get back into the cockpit to save himself and his passengers. No doubt he tried to not cause too much commotion until he really had to so as to prevent a panic. Until the end he thought of his passengers and their fear before his own. I cannot even begin to imagine what knowing you are going to die is like and sitting and waiting for it to happen.

Your heart goes out to those poor individual who must have realised what was about to happen and obviously to their families and friends. An accident is something you eventually come to terms with but how on Earth can you ever move on from this? Any explanation isn't good enough when you've senselessly lost a loved one in this manner.

Suicide?
Was it suicide? If it was it’s a cowardly act. If you want to take your own life that's fine but why take everyone else with you? There’s also the co-pilot’s own family who will now feel the guilt he has left. If you want to kill yourself then okay but why take 150 unknown innocent souls with you?

What is really upsetting is that usually on these short-haul European flights, the passengers walk across the tarmac to board the plane (as opposed to a tunnel entrance). That means the pilot will have seen the passengers board the plane; women with babies, young people. How sick do you have to be? If you are depressed and suicidal, I am sorry for your mental health, but sort it out on your time and agenda. Do not take innocent people down with you. If it was suicide I can only suspect this pilot was a megalomaniac, he wanted fame, he wanted notoriety. This co-pilot taking control of the plane by locking the pilot from the cockpit, then setting the jet to autopilot to descend and crash demonstrates an individual of out-of-control, it’s serious monomaniacal behaviour.

Maybe he was truly clinically depressed. Low cost airlines are squeezing the younger crews to the maximum for minimum pay. By the time they have to pay back their flying school fees, pay expensive rents near airport bases, live and fly the maximum legal hours on a daily basis, I’m sure many do become depressed and frustrated. It's a fairly lethal combination similar to that of Junior Doctors.

But how does it happen? How did it get to that stage? Did his co-workers or his employer German Wings not see any signs or know anything about his propensities?

Terrorism?
How is it possible that they can exclude an act of terrorism at this stage? I’d certainly call the deliberate crashing of an aeroplane with 150 people on board, an act of terrorism. One man killing 150 people including himself – that's not normal behaviour even for the clinically depressed. No matter how depressed you are, surely you don't want to take 149 people with you? I feel so sorry for this man's family, they will be vilified for decades.

Who’s to say that he hadn't become radicalised recently or that he wasn't being black-mailed by a terrorist group such as ISIS? – “crash the plane or your family will get killed” seems more plausible than simply committing suicide.

Has Security Gone Too Far Now ?
We know they made the cockpit doors safe to prevent hijackers after 9/11. First, we had to worry about the trouble from outside the cockpit - so they made it so that the doors could only be locked from the inside. Now it seems we have to worry about the people on the inside! Looks like you just can't win when dealing with humanity.

I get the reason behind the door being so strong, I understand the threat of terrorism etc, however all that security also prevented the pilot from re-entering the cockpit. Surly if a pilot leaves he should have some kind of override code to the door! Maybe one Pilot should never be alone in a cockpit. A steward should enter and remain if one of the pilots need to use the restroom. Or do we just have three pilots now so there’s always two in the cockpit? What about a small toilet facility in or adjacent to the cockpit so the pilot doesn’t have to leave? What about cockpit cameras streaming to ground monitoring stations?

All these ways will be expensive, but things may be a little safer that way. Looking at history though, people will always find a way to bypass even those actions. How long before it's mandatory to have 2 crew in the flight deck at all times?

Another concern was the news media showing everyone exactly how the cockpit has precautions so someone could not get in, including how the door locking mechanism works. Aren’t they are just providing the bad guys with the diagrams for future attacks?

Links ?
It will be interesting if there is any link between this co-pilot and others than have gone down in similar circumstances. It's odd that no-one in these recent events has highlighted strange behaviour. Other flights over the last 20 years include :

A flight between Mozambique and Angola crashed in Namibia in 2013, killing 33 people. Initial investigation results suggested the accident was deliberately carried out by the captain shortly after co-pilot had left the flight deck.

An EgyptAir Boeing 767 went into a rapid descent 30 minutes after taking off from New York in 1999, killing 217 people. An investigation suggested that the crash was caused deliberately by the co-pilot.

More than 100 people were killed in 1997 when a Boeing 737 travelling from Indonesia to Singapore crashed. The pilot - suffering from "multiple work-related difficulties" - was suspected of switching off the flight recorders and intentionally putting the plane into a dive.

And let's not forget the recent Malaysian Airlines flight which looks, although not proven, that it might have been a deliberate act too.

At The End Of The Day
I feel bad for those people that were unlucky enough to be stuck on that plane with a crazy pilot. It's a true tragedy and a shame. I believe now we need to implement cameras in the cockpit and two people in the cockpit at any time. Pilots are looked up to and highly regarded so for this to happen is an absolute shock, however with all the recent aviation events it seems necessary for changes to be made.

With regards to a pilot’s mental health, I guess you cannot assess someone completely; flying will continue to be a risk for this reason as your life maybe in the hands of an imperfect human. The only blessing that can come from this is that the airliner didn't crash into more people on the ground.

When you board a plane you relinquish your ability to be master of your own destiny. You have to trust pilots,  engineers, ground staff, other passengers along with the makers of the plane - in spite of this it still is the safest form of transport.